Men Are Made Different

Murnella Lawson is perhaps one of the best known faces in the television today. Her current worth is estimated to be 23€ million. Murnella who is 53 is married to Charlie Dotti, a 70 year old, hugely successful advertising professional, corporate honcho and art collector. If Murnella ’s fans were taken to watch her cookery show ‘Murnella ’s Ktichen’, they were perhaps shell shocked to learn that she had been at the receiving end in an argument with her husband when he turned abusive and held her by her throat. It is unbelievable that a hugely successful, rich, attractive celebrity should be facing domestic abuse and putting up with it and suffering silently while putting on a smiling face and a happy show to her viewers.

What is it that makes women put up with abusive relationships and not walk out on the men?. Women tend to go to any length to save the relationship even if it means they have to bear the brunt year after year. There are many theories that are put forth by psychologists. The way a woman chooses to react to an abusive relationship has largely to do with her own personality and perception of self. A self respecting woman who is economically and emotionally independent may not choose to suffer such a relationship. On the other hand a woman who is weak may choose to go to any length to put up with the relationship. Psychologists trace such behavior patterns to their childhood and their relationship with their father who may have been dominating. There are also cases where women confuse violence with love and believe that abusive nature of the man is representative of the man in him. Then there are other women who are more worried about what the society will think of them and fearing adverse reaction from family and friends choose to remain married and put up with whatever treatment they get.

Men on the other hand may not put up with a bad marriage and abusive wife as easily as the women do. Though women may not be abusive physically, they can be argumentative, verbally abusive, insulting and nagging wives. Women are known to be insulting enough to infuriate any male. Men are very sensitive about themselves. In fact men derive their sense of identity and self esteem from their physical prowess and libido. Any personal problems and short comings in terms of male incompetence can drive them up the wall. Male incompetence is one issue that robs men of their identity and their inner strength. Unable to face their problems and perceived failure they often turn aggressive and abusive. If you take the case of men who turn alcoholics who turn to drinking to drown their miseries, you will find in them a perceived sense of injustice, failure and low self esteem. Under no circumstances will a man like to admit that he is unable to engage in a physically satisfying relationship with his spouse. This could sound the death knell of marriage. Perhaps this could be the reason why many marriages fall apart when the couples are nearing their fifties.